Parenting Tips from My Son

Playgrounds are where many unexpected conversations happen

Our son recently turned 3.

Today, while walking home from preschool, his tiny, chubby hand tucked in mine, I asked him something I've always asked on our walks back:

“How is your day?”

“Good”, he replied, like usual.

We walked a few more steps. He was silent for a long time. Then with a very serious expression on his face, he turned to look up at me and asked what seemed like something that he has been pondering for days now.

“What is a day?”

His question stumped me. Not because I didn’t have an answer but because I realised something I hadn't considered before.

On these walks, whenever I asked about my son's day, he would say “good”. He's heard me and my husband talk to each other about our days, and “good” was often the reply. He probably thought he should just copy us and that'll be fine. Today, however, he finally strung this mystery that was bothering him into words.

What exactly is this 'day' Mama keeps asking about?

If I have a day, what does it look like? Is it like a thing that I have?

Why does she ask me this question all the time?

Eventually, I told him, “A day is the time between when you wake up in the morning and when you go to sleep at night.”

But the moment stayed with me.

It struck me how much we, as adults, take for granted. We often assume our children magically understand our rules and rhythms of daily life, simply because they live it with us. We might even think, "but I tell you this every day!"

Take something simple: when we get home from kindergarten, I always remind my kids to wash their hands and change their clothes before lunch. To me, it’s obvious. It's about cleanliness, being germ-free, and staying healthy. But for my little one? Not so obvious. Maybe not even important. Perhaps what's more urgent might be playing with his favourite fire engine truck toy when he gets home.

This small question, "What is a day?", was his way of bridging the gap between our two worlds.

And it made me see: there are also gaps in my understanding of what he knows, what he wonders, and how he makes sense of the world. After all, what seems commonplace to us parents might probably be our kids' first encounter with some situations.

Parenting, it turns out, isn’t just about teaching. It’s about staying curious. Curious about our kids' experiences, questions, and point of view. Yes, it takes more care and effort to remain open and curious about their experiences. Identifying and communicating clearly what we see, feel, and understand will take extra time in our already packed and busy days.

Today though, I'm so grateful for his innocent question. It allowed me to see the world anew again, through his eyes, with more wonderment. That, I think, is truly the magic of this precious journey we have with our children.

If this story resonated with you, try your own small experiment.

Try and NOTICE

Parents, the next time your child says or does something unexpected, try this:

• Notice your first reaction or emotion. Maybe they’re refusing breakfast. The plate is wrong and the bread is too hard. We get it, it doesn't make sense. You're running late and they might miss the school bus. You're getting frustrated. Totally normal.

  
  

  In these moments, it might be tempting to see their behaviour as disobedience. I invite you to...

  
  

• Offer yourself time for a few deep and calming breaths

• Take a moment to really observe what's going on with your child

• Inquire gently about what you see: "You're not eating your bread, are you full?"

• Connect with what they share: "Ah, you're really full..." and

• Empathise and share your concern: "Snack time in school is 2 hours later, will you be ok until then?"

  
  

Not every confusing moment has to become a power struggle.

Sometimes, it’s just an invitation, to pause, notice, and step into your child’s world, even for just a tiny moment.

Share your experience of your small experiment with us. What unexpected question did your child ask? How did it shift your perspective? Tell us in the comments, or send this post to a fellow parent who could use this reminder today.

Let’s learn from our little ones, one question at a time.